I had a dream I was living in my old house. It was in the last city I lived in. Two story house. Two bedrooms, one bath, and a basement.
The street we lived on was becoming unstable. The two sides were fighting with each other. Over stupid things. It all started with a rash of disturbances. It would always be on one side of the street or the other. Knocking, window tapping, and such. Then it upped to things being broken. Small things at first. Until a front windows began to be smashed in the dead of night. No culprit around to be found. But within a week every house on one side had some front window smashed. It wasn't always the same side of the house. It was random. Thats when everyone somehow got it into their heads that it was the opposite side of the street causing the problems. But if that was the case, then both sides were causing a ruckus. I didn't know what was really going on, but I know I had nothing to do with it. I just thanked God that it wasn't our side of the street that got our windows smashed. Its been a month now, and things still keep happening like this. Thats when I decided to take matters into my own hands. I had two japanese practice swords that I had bought awhile back with some money I had earned babysitting a few peoples kids. I even bought sheaths and straps to wear them with. I started to go to my basement and practice pulling them both out. After another month of practicing with them, and taking a few karate lessons, I felt confident enough to go out for a night to investigate, and try to catch a glimpse of who the real culprit is. I put on a pair of black pants, dark grey shirt, and black hoodie. I sat out in the shadows of my neighbors house for awhile. It went on like this for awhile, and nothing happened. A few days of this, and no incident. So I figured that they could see me. Well.... lets just say that I got caught by a few of the neighbors skulcking around, so I decided some more lessons would be needed. Two months later...... I had caught a couple thieves and a few kids trying to sneak into an abandoned house at the end of the street. But could not find the person causing the disturbances. I was never fast enough. No one on the street knew who this mysterious person is who was slowing cleaning up our street, but they were slightly greatful. I had all black attire now with a face mask. They knew it was a girl though. Heh! I'm 26 so I'm fully grown. If you know what I mean. After awhile it became second nature to me. I whooped any ass trying to cause trouble. Up all night playing hero, sleep all day. I was becoming worried. I wanted to protect my home. I wanted to protect my Mom. I was starting to get a bad feeling that something bad was about to happen soon. I became restless, and started losing sleep. I slept in my Moms room. So you would think I would feel comfortable, and safe, but it didn't help at all. I didn't want any harm to come to her. One night I had forgot to put on my black gear and went out in a pair of grey shorts and a red t-shirt. I started to walk to one end of the street, when a thought came over me, "Should I go change into a different bra?" I felt like I didn't want my boobs to sag too much and get in the way. Then it hit me. Your not even wearing your outfit dummy! I started to panic, and looked around. I was standing under a lamp post. I was exposed. Someone could see me. I had the mask on but you could clearly tell it was me. I started to swiftly walk back to my house when I saw shadows moving down the street from either side. They were quickly coming from both sides to meet in the middle. Then all at once yelling. It was everyone in the neighborhood. They were attacking one another. One side pitted against the other. Some from my side going and kicking over tables and pulling up flowers, and same from the other side. I stood there and watched in shock. What had come over these people? Who was the cause of all this? It was a mystery. I ran down toward the closest group and started shouting for them to stop. They were right outside my nextdoor neighbors house. I could see the older man, and his daughter fighting with the younger couple that lived right across the way. The old man was struggling with the young man, and wasn't listening. His daughter, who was 5 years older then me, stopped bickering with the woman across the street and looked at me. "Stop this!" I yelled. She recognised me immediately. "YOU!" She shouted loudly. "Dad, look! I told you we knew them! Its that girl from next door!" She yelled at her dad. He turned and looked me up and down. Another group overheard her and came over. Before I knew it three or four more groups ran over and everyone started to say I was the one who started this whole thing. I was playing pranks. They all called me a bitch, a no good hoodlum, a snotty nosed punk, a good for nothing prankster who gets off on destroying peoples lives. Then they turned and started to beat on the sides of my house, and break the windows. "No! Stop it" I yelled. "I didn't start all this! I don't know who did!" I ran and pulled a few people away from the house. "I was trying to FIND the person behind it all!" I yelled. I didn't want to hurt these people. They were good people. I couldn't hit them with my swords. I started to beg. "Please, believe me?! I didn't do it! Don't ruin this house! Not the house I live with my Mom in! Well... I mean I know she isn't here anymore but.....!" And I stopped. She isn't here. She's not in the house. She died. What am I protecting exactly? Its just a house. I could have lived in a box with her, and it would have been our home. But without her there it would have been just another box...... In my mind she had been in there the whole time. Was I crazy? Was I losing my mind? Then I woke up.
I'm having a had time trying to keep up on the house I live in now. I don't have a job, and not sure if I could work, or can keep one. I have neuropathy of the feet. I'm over weight. Diabetic. I'm trying to lose weight but its hard. Everyone knows that though. Now with Mom gone, its even harder. My nephew was the one supporting us after Mom passed. It wasn't much but we got by. Then a friend I knew for 15 years took money from us, and then my nephew got fired. Now we owe two months rent, have no gas to cook, or shower, after today no internet, and in a few days no phone. I felt like I'm losing the very home my Mom is in... but she's not. Its not a home. Its just a trailor that we own, that sits on land we rent. She is in heaven. Looking down on my family and me, and smiling sending us love in the best way she can. The things in this house, they are just objects. Did she peel them from her skin and mold them into what they are? No. She did work hard to earn the money to get them, but if I needed money she wouldn't be mad if I sold them. I miss my Mommy every day. I will miss her till the day I die. And I will pray that one day I get to be with her again. Because she was my everything. And without her.... all this around me...... is nothing.